Today I'm struggling...

I have been going so well! I still am if you look at the big picture I've come so far! But today I'm struggling and kind of have been for the last couple of weeks..

It mostly all started when I decided to try a bagel for lunch..A nice whole grain seeded bagel, it can't possibly hurt.. Right? WRONG!! First bite and I was incredibly uncomfortable and had to bring it up.. And then I couldn't keep anything down for the rest of the day including fluids..by that night was actually bringing up what first looked like coffee grains and then later blood :-( so I took myself to emergency they gave me fluid by iv and monitored me and X-rayed me (although waste of time as it doesn't show correct results with out a barium meal) :-/ so after convincing them to let me go home and I went home but was still in a lot of pain. I got into see my surgeon first thing.. He sent me for a barium meal X-ray and took almost all the fluid out of the band to help the swelling.. Thankfully that's all it was was swelling I was so worried the band had slipped or broken.. So I managed to get through Christmas ok but I also put a couple of kgs back on which I'm positive is from the chocolates I shouldn't have eaten and not a lot of activity...

This is another thing I'm really struggling with is I've lost all this weight.. Where is the abundance of energy I should now have? I'm so tired all the time between that and headaches :-(  I'm tired of being tired and not just tired but exhausted like I could sleep all day... I have so many things I want to do but no energy to do it..when I go to the gym I struggle for 3 days after struggling to move! I try to keep moving because that's what I get told helps but really struggle with it and I don't see how it's meant to be helpful? I need to be able to function in my everyday life.. How is creating pain for myself helpful?

I'm trying to be positive about all this I wish I could "just get up and do it" but it's weighing me down I'm really struggling :-( 

Sorry for sad post