I need to get something off my chest...challenges, hurdles and struggles

I kind of figured I cant just tell you all the good stuff especially seeing this blog is all about the whole journey and whats a journey with out all the ups, downs...ebbs and flows, and all the bumps inbetween hey? 

So the last couple of months have been rather crazy... I have lost friends both human and furry that were very dear to me....I have family members in hospital and then also got really sick myself ...It all just piled up...It really knocked me for six.. I am not really sure why I took it so hard.. 

So with the all the emotional and stressful challenges some of my old habits/coping mechanisms have returned...

So alcohol..goes straight through the band...Now I havent been off my head or drinking every night but it wont have helped my situation..

Chocolate doesnt really have that much trouble going through the band and that is something I cant seem to have in moderation :-( just a little bit doesn't seem to exist in my vocabulary..

and pushing the boundaries seeing how much it takes before I feel discomfort/pain that I have heard all the horror stories about..

not eating for most of the day the day... Then feeling famished by the end of the day.. and let me tell you not even the band can help that! not that i'm in the green zone yet anyway..

I know it possibly seems that there are a lot of excuses there... but I have a shit couple of months and I havent really been coping so now I just need to give my self a break, be proud of what I have achieved so far and move on... I really cant keep being disappointed in myself as it just ads to the black cloud that has been hovering.. it especially likes to hang around at night when Im on my own and then my stupid head goes into over drive.. The rediculous thing about that is, is that my problems are so silly and tiny in comparison to everything else that has gone on around me with friends I care about that I really shouldnt be complaining... 

Today with the sunshine was so lovely I am really looking forward to more days like it and possibly days that are not so crazy...

so my next entry is going to be my strategies to get through this as I think I have waffled enough in this post..

Over and out..Shell xxx